I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
