I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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