I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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