Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
