hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so let's talk penis.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
