i just had sex bonerless
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm passing your future prison.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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