I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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