So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
