it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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