I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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