i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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