turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
how drunk are you?
Several
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
