I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Buhtt sex?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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