i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
