Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
