I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
