Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
