Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize