I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
