When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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