My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My feet surprised me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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