My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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