I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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