Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
