I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
is it fun? or sober?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
