He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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