margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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