I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
