respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
