Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize