I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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