I didn't shave. On purpose
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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