Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Floor bacon is actually really good
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
