i barfeds in our rink
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
