Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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