The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
All the doctor said was why
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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