Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
