So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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