How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
