Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
