so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
