Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
