guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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