I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
