the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
