there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
