WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
