Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize