I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
