i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
