remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
