I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
