You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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