Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
