haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she looked like the before picture.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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