You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
