Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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