but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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