That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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