seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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