let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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