Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That was an excessively violent trivia night
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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