their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
