VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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