I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
