I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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